Anger seems to get some pretty bad press, but actually it is an important tool for our survival. As one of our strongest emotions, anger creates energy to set and defend our boundaries. The message is loud and clear: “stop, this is as far as I will allow you to go”. When we are assertive , we are able to express this powerful emotion appropriately so that others can understand and respect the boundaries we wish to have.
Anger becomes a ‘problem’ when:
- it is chronic
- it is triggered by feelings of shame & guilt
- triggered behaviour becomes frequently challenging and violent
- we choose to suppress our angry feelings
Using anger to stop people from seeing parts of ourselves we are ashamed of can be very effective. That’s the tricky thing – anger works. It helps to set boundaries, but if we use it too much anger could end up setting up so many boundaries that there’s no more space left for anybody else. We can then become increasingly isolated.
On the other hand, choosing not to express anger can be down to a variety of reasons. For example, some of us may feel it inappropriate to express any angry feelings as it could be unacceptable to others. We feel afraid that this will push them away and they might leave us.
To others, who were abused in the past, anger can represent a loss of control. They would have seen it trigger harmful behaviours in others that ended up causing them physical and emotional pain. Expressing their anger is therefore not an option as they do not wish to inflict such pain on others.
But just because you decide not to let your anger out doesn’t mean it just goes away. In its nature, anger is expressive and triggers the production of adrenaline to provide the energy to protect ourselves. If it remains unexpressed, the pent up energy gets stored up in your system. Over time, unexpressed anger feelings start to build up and can lead to two of the most widespread mental health issues in our society today: anxiety and depression.
This workshop is an opportunity to learn how to identify what triggers our anger and start to challenge the thoughts that then can make the feelings of anger increase. A better understanding of this will provide participants with options on how to express their anger more appropriately.
Facilitated by experienced psychotherapist Daniela Nicol, the workshop group is encouraged to create an environment in which participants can feel safe to share their thoughts and feelings.
£30 per person which includes handouts. For fees on other workshops, courses and counselling click here.
The course is delivered by Daniela Nicol, a qualified and experienced counsellor and a Registered Member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP). Alongside her private counselling practice, Daniela runs regular workshops and courses on anxiety, anger management, assertiveness and self-confidence.